Your Story Matters
There are a few more organizations to research and celebrate in my weekly newsletter who provide support to teen moms, but I’m taking a break this week to report on something else. I’ve been doing interviews the past several weeks with individuals who have mentally ill family members. The project is contracted with Lived Places Publishing to create a book that will join their Disability Studies Collection as a course reading for mental health profession and mental health adjacent students’ coursework.
Can I just say I’m blown away by the stories I’ve heard so far? I was motivated to propose this project to LPP by my experiences discussing my first book, Mother of My Invention, at book events in 2023. The book is a memoir about my journey to discover who my mother might have been, had she not been diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after my birth. In the process of writing it, I’m not sure I ever really found out who she was, but I learned an awful lot about who I am. Maybe that was just as important.
Photo by Matthew Ball on Unsplash
This is the beauty of telling or writing our stories: we learn more about ourselves than we can by simply ruminating on ordinary experiences. One of my favorite quotes is from E.M. Forster, and it goes like this: “How can I know what I think until I see what I say?” I suppose some people can process their inner thoughts through what they speak, but I’m not an auditory learner. For me, the kinesthetic act of writing results in a visual that is critical to the process. Ordinary events become threads in the much larger tapestry of our stories.
Once my book was published and my story was “out of the bag,” so to speak, I was amazed at the number of people who shared similar stories, sometimes people I’d known for years who had never disclosed that a loved one was mentally ill. Somehow, writing and talking about my experiences gave others permission to tell their stories, too. I was honored to hear them and soon recognized the value in collecting these stories. The people in the best position to positively affect families dealing with mental health issues are mental health professionals. I also believe people who are undergoing their own struggles with mental health conditions can benefit from hearing how others cope with them.
So far, I’ve conducted five interviews, almost half the planned number for the book. Each of the stories is unique, even when the diagnoses are the same. I’ve been inspired by the strength of those who continue to care for and advocate for a loved one whose life is nothing like it was expected to be.
I’m interviewing parents, children, siblings, and partners of individuals who have been diagnosed with a mental illness: severe depression, schizophrenia, delusional disorder, schizoaffective disorder, alcohol and drug addictions, and more. Some individuals have been diagnosed with more than one disorder, which complicates treatment.
What has struck me most deeply is the determination with which a spouse or a child will seek the well-being of their loved ones by tirelessly rooting out resources or “cheerleading” for them, as one spouse put it. While some relationships have been severed by divorce or death, the continued devotion is inspiring. For each story, the grief and loss of an expected future with a loved one that will not materialize is heartbreaking. But there are also gifts of greater wisdom, compassion, and empathy that accompany each story.
Everyone I speak to agrees that the stigma surrounding mental illness is the greatest impediment to sharing what they’ve experienced. Those who struggle with an illness in their family fear judgment, but no one is to blame for mental illness. It’s not a matter of “acting right” or just “getting over” trauma. Becoming better educated as a society about the causes and treatment for mental illness can eliminate that stigma, and telling our stories is one way to make that happen.
I’m still recruiting interview subjects in the four relationship categories I mentioned earlier (parents, children, siblings, and partners), so if you know someone who might be interested in participating, please refer to this link: Your Story Matters. There are more details on the website about the project and my contact information for anyone interested in contributing.
I’m hoping to have all interview subjects identified and scheduled between now and May 1. Please help eradicate the stigma faced by those diagnosed with mental illness by providing stories that contribute to mental health policies benefitting all.
Janice Airhart 