“My dad told me having this baby was my punishment for having sex,” a student in my biology class once told me.
I was startled for a moment but finally said, “Please don’t ever think of your baby as a punishment.” I was angry that her father would tell her such a thing. Learning your sixteen-year-old daughter is pregnant is certainly not welcome news, but it’s cruel to pronounce your grandchild an instrument of retribution. Life will be hard enough for them both.
Teen moms face multiple complex challenges, which begin with a positive pregnancy test. Many challenges are physical, but some of the hardest to overcome are the emotional ones. Judgement from strangers is painful, even more so from peers. Judgement from those on whom you depend for your physical and emotional well-being is devastating.
All this coincides with contemplating some of the most important questions of her life. How do I tell the baby’s father? My parents? Should I terminate the pregnancy? Is that even possible? How can I possibly care for a baby at this point in my life? Once parents and the baby’s father are aware of the pregnancy, many girls are deprived of further decision-making anyway.
It’s bad enough that teen girls feel judged for becoming pregnant but infuriating that they’re the focus of society’s scorn. They’re often labeled sluts or worse. If the father of a teen girl’s child is considered at all, it’s sometimes with a shrug. “Boys will be boys.”
Girls make easy targets. First for assault, then for blame.
While sexual predation, a.k.a. “just being a guy” is excused—or exalted—in male celebrities and politicians, young teenage girls are made to suffer the majority of consequences. Their misplaced affection can lead to carelessness or exploitation. Sometimes, though, submission is their only choice. Girls make easy targets. First for assault, then for blame.
Among a pregnant teen’s difficulties are physical and mental stressors. The body of a young girl of sixteen (or younger) is simply not able to easily withstand the physical changes related to pregnancy. Delivering a six-to-eight-pound infant is hard on a young body … any body, really.
Maternal death rates are higher in older age groups but are growing in the US overall, meaning teens are more susceptible than in the past. Teens also face higher risks of eclampsia, endometriosis, and infection, according to the World Health Organization.
The National Library of Medicine (an agency of the National Institutes of Health), in a 2014 article, addresses increased serious mental health challenges for teen moms, such as depression, substance abuse, and posttraumatic stress disorder. None of these diagnoses come without ancillary trauma to the girl’s friends and family. In addition, her child is more likely to suffer these or similar mental health consequences.
As I reported in a previous post, poverty both contributes to and results from teen pregnancy. While poverty in itself may not seem a physical effect of teen pregnancy, it affects every element of a child’s life, whether pregnant or not. It contributes to direct health and nutrition challenges, access to birth control or healthcare, and obtaining life’s basic necessities.
One of the most important concerns, the one I was deeply involved in from 2007 to 2015, is education for teen moms. Many pregnant girls choose to drop out of school, especially where there is little or no support in continuing their education. There are many reasons for this as well, as I explained in Dropping Out Pregnant. Whatever the reason, a non-graduate’s employment options are locked permanently into low-wage jobs, endangering both her and her child’s future.
Climbing out of the abyss of generational poverty is nearly impossible without external support systems, similar to the one provided by the school where I taught. The program was specifically designed with assistance that met a teen mom’s needs: onsite childcare, counseling services, onsite Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) nutrition support, nursing services, and flexible academic schedules.
While programs like ours—the Margaret Hudson Program (MHP) in Tulsa, OK—proliferated across the country in the 1960s and 70s, there are very few left. MHP closed in 2017. Most pregnant students are now forced to continue in their current schools or transfer to an alternative campus in their district, which may or may not be equipped to meet their needs.
As every pregnant woman knows, childbearing is an emotional, life-changing experience. According to Healthline, pregnant teens suffer from high rates of post-partum blues, the stress of sleepless nights, worries about being a good parent, and shouldering responsibilities for a child before they’ve been fully responsible for meeting their own needs. These problems are exacerbated if there is a history of child abuse, mental illness, or drug or alcohol addiction in their home.
Feeling shame or guilt due to the judgements of others can cause deep emotional scars. Several years ago, a newspaper reporter interviewed one of my students for an article about our program. Monica (not her real name) was a National Honor Society member at the district high school but attended classes on our campus. Monica hoped to attend medical school one day. The article was intended to celebrate both Monica’s successes and the assistance our program provided her.
When the article was published online, many people responded with positive and encouraging comments. But there were also horribly cruel comments that Monica was “milking the system.” That we were encouraging welfare moms. Predictions that her baby’s father was probably already impregnating another girl. That Monica was being rewarded for sinful behavior.
Staff was horrified. Monica was devastated. About a decade after this incident, Monica told me, “I cried so hard, reading those comments, my mom had to take my computer away from me. She was afraid I would hurt the baby.”
Monica eventually overcame the insults in those public comments. “I was determined to show every one of them that I could stick to my goals.”
Monica is now a happily married mother of three and recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in biology. “I’ve had to put a few things on hold,” she told me. “I wanted to wait until my kids were in school and am considering teaching biology for a while. Medical school is still possible, but I’ll take it one step at a time.”
Every pregnant teen is different. While they have some common needs, each one has challenges unique to them. Having a flexible support system is essential in helping students complete high school so they can move into a stable adulthood.
Some pregnant teens are emotionally fragile and too immature to successfully navigate life as a sixteen-year-old mother, but that’s the minority, in my experience. Like Monica, their situations often lead to greater resolve. Many are fueled by the predictions of their failure by those closest to them.
As for the former student whose father pronounced her baby a punishment, it’s clear from the lovely family photos posted on social media that her father enjoys all his grandchildren. I’m heartened by his softened stance and hope for greater empathy for teen moms from those in our society who have the power to support or harm them.
Janice Airhart 